While trying to figure out what to bitch about next, I ran through a list of options, dismissing them all as trite or overdone. Finally I opened a bottle of wine and decided to work on cleaning out my inbox. In so doing, I ran across an e-mail a student sent me over the summer. As I clicked on the link, I was instantly thrust back into the same frustrated mindset I experienced when I first looked at it and Bam! I had my next blog entry. (Thanks Megan!)
One of the things that is most frustrating about body dissatisfaction is the fact that the female body is viewed as a social body. A body openly displayed for any and all to ogle, critique, and openly comment on. Equally frustrating is that the female body is rarely viewed as a whole body, but instead is reduced to parts -- boobs, ass, legs, feet, etc. Each part is sexualized with an ideal image associated with it. If you don't believe me or think I'm exaggerating, do a google search for Kim Kardashian's ass and see how many ridiculous entries come up. More than simply showing us picture after picture after picture of her "big bootie" you'll find numerous examples of people commenting on the size of her butt. Everyone seems to have an opinion and no one seems to agree on just what size is the right one -- for her or for the rest of us.
As frustrating as this may be, the idea of the female body as social body is not limited to adult bodies. We see the same things happening with young girls, ever younger. Even more disturbing is that we see an ever increasing range of products aimed at younger girls to help them achieve the look of ideal beauty, whatever that may be. All of which finally gets me back to the message from this summer.
A new company, Heelarious, is promoting a product aimed at baby girls. With a tagline of "her first high heels," Heelarious provides "Extremely funny soft shoes for babies 0-6 months designed to look like high heels." In other words, they're crib shoes with a high heel and come in a variety of designer-like colors including shiny pink, leopard and zebra prints. I'm still waiting to see the funny aspect of the shoes, as to me they are much more disturbing than humorous. Very disturbing. I can imagine a number of well-meaning people buying these things as way to dress your baby girl up, make her feel like a truly girly-girl.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have my own collection of high heel shoes and wear them quite often. However, I'm an adult woman making a conscious choice to privilege style over comfort or common sense. As a feminist I am well aware of the patriarchal and societal norms I am recreating each and every time I don a pair of stilettos. I do so in part as a way to reclaim high heels as more than just another fetish item or necessary component of women's appearance. No one tells me to wear these things or forced them on me when I was a mere baby of 0-6 months.
Putting high heels on a baby, even when they are soft shoes not designed to be walked on creates an entirely different situation. The baby girl sporting a pair of Heelarious shoes is thrust into the role of being a sexualized, female social body. (And this doesn't even begin to address the problem of pedophilia and how such babies would be viewed through that lens.) The baby girl wearing high heels receives early indoctrination into the dominant norms of femininity. A few years from now, I can imagine a three or four year old girl looking at her baby pictures and asking her parents for another pair of high heels and not understanding why if she could wear high heels in the crib she can't now. I fear that the geniuses behind Heelarious have opened a whole new possible market for kid-sized sexualized products.
We already have make-up, lingerie, and a whole host of other products aimed at the pre-school crowd, including tot-size thongs for the little girl who doesn't want to worry about panty lines. In the wake of such products, are tot-size leopard print high heels that much of a stretch? If we combine products like these with the myriad other beauty discourses and images that all women today must combat, what chance does a little girl have other than to grow up dissatisfied and frustrated? How are young girls ever going to accept that beauty comes in many sizes, shapes, forms, and colors? Or will they just be resigned to a life of constantly striving to achieve an ideal sexualized look that is impossible for the overwhelming majority of them?
I polled a few friends on their responses to Heelarious. I was shocked at the ambivalence most of them displayed. They mostly agreed that high heels for babies does present a problem, but their overall responses were much more hesitant. The general tone was that the shoes were kinda cute and since they only go up to 6 months, could they cause all that much harm? If this is the response from strong, feminist women I can only guess as to the more openly accepting responses from those who aren't familiar with beauty discourses, dominant norms, patriarchy, and the myriad other things operating to keep women in their place. If we let products like these fly under the radar without publicly denouncing them, then aren't we setting up a new standard of bitchin' bodies? A new standard that will demand bitchin' bodies of all women and girls, including the under six month old set. What's next? Build-a-Body Workshops in shopping malls where young girls can drop in for a quick nip and tuck or have a tummy tuck seventh birthday party for a few of their closest friends? (In case you think mall plastic surgery is all that far-fetched, see my January, 2008 blog.)
Maybe I'm just getting old, but I shudder to envision a world where Bitchin' Bodies includes Bitchin' Baby Bodies. It really is time to stop bitchin' about and at each other, and start bitchin' about the numerous injustices still openly exercised on the female body and women in general. It's time to stop letting others determine your destiny and take back what it means to be a woman -- or a young girl. It's time to stop feeding money into the billion dollar industry that is beauty products aimed at women and girl. And maybe, it's time to rethink our addiction to these things. As much as I love my high heels, I have to admit that I am now hesitant to don another pair. I think that as I finish my bottle of wine, I will revisit my shoe collection and finally rid of it of all those crazy uncomfortable shoes that, while they make my legs look long, end up killing my feet at the end of the day. The good news is that comfort shoe manufacturers are finally realizing there are many more options than black and brown leather. I recently purchased a pair of patent leather, leopard print Dansko clogs that I'll be rocking in lieu of my crazy high heels. Just say no to Bitchin' Babies!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
BI***IN'?
Now that Bitchin' Bodies has officially been birthed, "Other" responses are coming in. For you critical theorists out there, yes, I do mean Other. For those of you have not yet entered the wonderful world of critical theory, Other is one of those key words that we use when we want to discuss the way that individuals relate, or fail, to each other. When we treat a person as an Other, we address her as an object, a tool, something other than a full person. The goal of true interpersonal communication is to approach the other in a way that accepts her for all that she is, even when we disagree. Instead of finding fault or belittling her, we seek understanding. While we may disagree, we allow her to be who she is and to express herself in the manner that she feels is best. We respect her right to be a full person at the same time that we acknowledge that we might find significant problems with what she is saying.
At this point, you are probably asking, "Terri, what the hell does this have to do with Bitchin' Bodies? And why Bi***in'?" Great questions! The easy answer is that when one sets out to write literature that empowers women, and when that writer is a woman, one of the first things that happens is that there is backlash or visceral negative responses from those who feel they and their power are being challenged. The first time (or 10+ times) this happens, there's a strong temptation to back down and take on an easier task of writing, something less controversial. However, if you're very lucky, which I am, you have a strong network of supporting individuals who remind you that you're doing good work and if you're getting backlash that means you're starting to make a difference. They remind you that strong responses are par for the course, and while the responses may be hurtful it's part of the game you signed up for. More importantly, they reinforce that you're doing good, important work, and the negative responses put you in the company of other women who have dared to step out of the little lady box into which American women today are still relegated.
So, why Bi***in'? Well, in the flurry of media coverage for the national birth of Bitchin' Bodies, at least one media outlet found it necessary to censor the title. Their concern was that they didn't want to expose their readers to the "actual expletive," bitch. When this first happened, I was amused and thought it the work of an overzealous copy editor. Sadly, my amusement turned to frustration tinged with moments of anger as the censorship continued. Even though Fox28 had no problem showing the cover of the book and saying (oh the horror) "Bitchin'" on morning television, this particular media outlet continued to censor. Why? The word bitch is openly used in all sorts of venues -- books, television, media, movies, etc. Yet, the title kept being referred to as Bi***in' Bodies. More than mere censorship, this is a misrepresentation of the work. Imagine my surprise when I started getting phone calls and e-mails from people who wanted to buy the book and couldn't find one called Bi***in' Bodies. Of course they couldn't find that book, because it doesn't exist. Therefore, in addition to participating in the horrid act of censorship, they were misrepresenting the book in question, my book. I guess I was naive in thinking that literary titles were sacrosanct -- you don't mess with them even when you don't like them. Apparently, in this postmodern age of overprotection and increasingly intrusive encroachment into personal freedoms, there still exist media professionals (and I use that term lightly) who feel that the first amendment only applies in certain situations.
Sadly, the story doesn't end here. In addition to participating in outright censorship, this same media outlet decided to run a "satirical" (and I use that term reluctantly) comic about Bitchin' Bodies. (After much deliberation, I've decided not to reproduce the comic for you, because why should I give them free press?) The main gist of the comic is that Bitchin' Bodies sounds like adult literature, code for porn. However, it's actually "just" third wave feminism in the same category as books such as "Pseudo Psychology and Other Things that Sound Smart, but Aren't" - a textbook example of backlash discourse in action. Part of me is reveling in the fact that I wrote something that so upset another person that he took the time to create a very detailed response. The other part of me, though, is saddened to think that instead of engaging in an intellectual discussion of the issue, the cartoonist (he doesn't deserve the title of artist) felt the best response was to hide behind the mask of juvenile jokes and standard jabs at feminist writers. The interesting thing is that while the cartoonist felt perfectly comfortable positioning Bitchin' Bodies as pseudo-scholarship, he still censored the title to Bi***in' Bodies. If you're going to take a stand against something you disagree with, shouldn't you at least have the balls to use the "actual expletive?"
The moral of the story is that all of this only serves to reinforce why even in the twenty-first century postmodern world, there still exists a wide range of systemic and institutional discrimination against women. More importantly, the whole situation reminds me that it truly is time to start a BITCHIN' REVOLUTION where women move beyond the pretty little lady box. The next time someone calls you a bitch, and you know it will happen, instead of getting mad say, "Thank you." Thank them for acknowledging that you're being a strong woman living outside the little lady box. If you want to have even more fun, make them explain why you're a bitch. No matter what reason they give, just keep asking, "Why?" Force them to get to the depths of their own sexism. And no matter what they say, remember that Bitch is used as a sword, so instead of letting them use that sword against you, turn it back on them. Breathe deep, stand tall, and be a Bitch! Be a proud Bitch! Own the Bitch title and your own bitchiness.
If you want to read another take on this issue, check out the StepSister Press blog. And just in case there's any confusion, I did not write Bit***in' Bodies. I wrote Bitchin' Bodies, the book that will start a new bitchin' revolution of strong women who are proud of who they are and how they look.
At this point, you are probably asking, "Terri, what the hell does this have to do with Bitchin' Bodies? And why Bi***in'?" Great questions! The easy answer is that when one sets out to write literature that empowers women, and when that writer is a woman, one of the first things that happens is that there is backlash or visceral negative responses from those who feel they and their power are being challenged. The first time (or 10+ times) this happens, there's a strong temptation to back down and take on an easier task of writing, something less controversial. However, if you're very lucky, which I am, you have a strong network of supporting individuals who remind you that you're doing good work and if you're getting backlash that means you're starting to make a difference. They remind you that strong responses are par for the course, and while the responses may be hurtful it's part of the game you signed up for. More importantly, they reinforce that you're doing good, important work, and the negative responses put you in the company of other women who have dared to step out of the little lady box into which American women today are still relegated.
So, why Bi***in'? Well, in the flurry of media coverage for the national birth of Bitchin' Bodies, at least one media outlet found it necessary to censor the title. Their concern was that they didn't want to expose their readers to the "actual expletive," bitch. When this first happened, I was amused and thought it the work of an overzealous copy editor. Sadly, my amusement turned to frustration tinged with moments of anger as the censorship continued. Even though Fox28 had no problem showing the cover of the book and saying (oh the horror) "Bitchin'" on morning television, this particular media outlet continued to censor. Why? The word bitch is openly used in all sorts of venues -- books, television, media, movies, etc. Yet, the title kept being referred to as Bi***in' Bodies. More than mere censorship, this is a misrepresentation of the work. Imagine my surprise when I started getting phone calls and e-mails from people who wanted to buy the book and couldn't find one called Bi***in' Bodies. Of course they couldn't find that book, because it doesn't exist. Therefore, in addition to participating in the horrid act of censorship, they were misrepresenting the book in question, my book. I guess I was naive in thinking that literary titles were sacrosanct -- you don't mess with them even when you don't like them. Apparently, in this postmodern age of overprotection and increasingly intrusive encroachment into personal freedoms, there still exist media professionals (and I use that term lightly) who feel that the first amendment only applies in certain situations.
Sadly, the story doesn't end here. In addition to participating in outright censorship, this same media outlet decided to run a "satirical" (and I use that term reluctantly) comic about Bitchin' Bodies. (After much deliberation, I've decided not to reproduce the comic for you, because why should I give them free press?) The main gist of the comic is that Bitchin' Bodies sounds like adult literature, code for porn. However, it's actually "just" third wave feminism in the same category as books such as "Pseudo Psychology and Other Things that Sound Smart, but Aren't" - a textbook example of backlash discourse in action. Part of me is reveling in the fact that I wrote something that so upset another person that he took the time to create a very detailed response. The other part of me, though, is saddened to think that instead of engaging in an intellectual discussion of the issue, the cartoonist (he doesn't deserve the title of artist) felt the best response was to hide behind the mask of juvenile jokes and standard jabs at feminist writers. The interesting thing is that while the cartoonist felt perfectly comfortable positioning Bitchin' Bodies as pseudo-scholarship, he still censored the title to Bi***in' Bodies. If you're going to take a stand against something you disagree with, shouldn't you at least have the balls to use the "actual expletive?"
The moral of the story is that all of this only serves to reinforce why even in the twenty-first century postmodern world, there still exists a wide range of systemic and institutional discrimination against women. More importantly, the whole situation reminds me that it truly is time to start a BITCHIN' REVOLUTION where women move beyond the pretty little lady box. The next time someone calls you a bitch, and you know it will happen, instead of getting mad say, "Thank you." Thank them for acknowledging that you're being a strong woman living outside the little lady box. If you want to have even more fun, make them explain why you're a bitch. No matter what reason they give, just keep asking, "Why?" Force them to get to the depths of their own sexism. And no matter what they say, remember that Bitch is used as a sword, so instead of letting them use that sword against you, turn it back on them. Breathe deep, stand tall, and be a Bitch! Be a proud Bitch! Own the Bitch title and your own bitchiness.
If you want to read another take on this issue, check out the StepSister Press blog. And just in case there's any confusion, I did not write Bit***in' Bodies. I wrote Bitchin' Bodies, the book that will start a new bitchin' revolution of strong women who are proud of who they are and how they look.
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