While trying to figure out what to bitch about next, I ran through a list of options, dismissing them all as trite or overdone. Finally I opened a bottle of wine and decided to work on cleaning out my inbox. In so doing, I ran across an e-mail a student sent me over the summer. As I clicked on the link, I was instantly thrust back into the same frustrated mindset I experienced when I first looked at it and Bam! I had my next blog entry. (Thanks Megan!)
One of the things that is most frustrating about body dissatisfaction is the fact that the female body is viewed as a social body. A body openly displayed for any and all to ogle, critique, and openly comment on. Equally frustrating is that the female body is rarely viewed as a whole body, but instead is reduced to parts -- boobs, ass, legs, feet, etc. Each part is sexualized with an ideal image associated with it. If you don't believe me or think I'm exaggerating, do a google search for Kim Kardashian's ass and see how many ridiculous entries come up. More than simply showing us picture after picture after picture of her "big bootie" you'll find numerous examples of people commenting on the size of her butt. Everyone seems to have an opinion and no one seems to agree on just what size is the right one -- for her or for the rest of us.
As frustrating as this may be, the idea of the female body as social body is not limited to adult bodies. We see the same things happening with young girls, ever younger. Even more disturbing is that we see an ever increasing range of products aimed at younger girls to help them achieve the look of ideal beauty, whatever that may be. All of which finally gets me back to the message from this summer.
A new company, Heelarious, is promoting a product aimed at baby girls. With a tagline of "her first high heels," Heelarious provides "Extremely funny soft shoes for babies 0-6 months designed to look like high heels." In other words, they're crib shoes with a high heel and come in a variety of designer-like colors including shiny pink, leopard and zebra prints. I'm still waiting to see the funny aspect of the shoes, as to me they are much more disturbing than humorous. Very disturbing. I can imagine a number of well-meaning people buying these things as way to dress your baby girl up, make her feel like a truly girly-girl.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have my own collection of high heel shoes and wear them quite often. However, I'm an adult woman making a conscious choice to privilege style over comfort or common sense. As a feminist I am well aware of the patriarchal and societal norms I am recreating each and every time I don a pair of stilettos. I do so in part as a way to reclaim high heels as more than just another fetish item or necessary component of women's appearance. No one tells me to wear these things or forced them on me when I was a mere baby of 0-6 months.
Putting high heels on a baby, even when they are soft shoes not designed to be walked on creates an entirely different situation. The baby girl sporting a pair of Heelarious shoes is thrust into the role of being a sexualized, female social body. (And this doesn't even begin to address the problem of pedophilia and how such babies would be viewed through that lens.) The baby girl wearing high heels receives early indoctrination into the dominant norms of femininity. A few years from now, I can imagine a three or four year old girl looking at her baby pictures and asking her parents for another pair of high heels and not understanding why if she could wear high heels in the crib she can't now. I fear that the geniuses behind Heelarious have opened a whole new possible market for kid-sized sexualized products.
We already have make-up, lingerie, and a whole host of other products aimed at the pre-school crowd, including tot-size thongs for the little girl who doesn't want to worry about panty lines. In the wake of such products, are tot-size leopard print high heels that much of a stretch? If we combine products like these with the myriad other beauty discourses and images that all women today must combat, what chance does a little girl have other than to grow up dissatisfied and frustrated? How are young girls ever going to accept that beauty comes in many sizes, shapes, forms, and colors? Or will they just be resigned to a life of constantly striving to achieve an ideal sexualized look that is impossible for the overwhelming majority of them?
I polled a few friends on their responses to Heelarious. I was shocked at the ambivalence most of them displayed. They mostly agreed that high heels for babies does present a problem, but their overall responses were much more hesitant. The general tone was that the shoes were kinda cute and since they only go up to 6 months, could they cause all that much harm? If this is the response from strong, feminist women I can only guess as to the more openly accepting responses from those who aren't familiar with beauty discourses, dominant norms, patriarchy, and the myriad other things operating to keep women in their place. If we let products like these fly under the radar without publicly denouncing them, then aren't we setting up a new standard of bitchin' bodies? A new standard that will demand bitchin' bodies of all women and girls, including the under six month old set. What's next? Build-a-Body Workshops in shopping malls where young girls can drop in for a quick nip and tuck or have a tummy tuck seventh birthday party for a few of their closest friends? (In case you think mall plastic surgery is all that far-fetched, see my January, 2008 blog.)
Maybe I'm just getting old, but I shudder to envision a world where Bitchin' Bodies includes Bitchin' Baby Bodies. It really is time to stop bitchin' about and at each other, and start bitchin' about the numerous injustices still openly exercised on the female body and women in general. It's time to stop letting others determine your destiny and take back what it means to be a woman -- or a young girl. It's time to stop feeding money into the billion dollar industry that is beauty products aimed at women and girl. And maybe, it's time to rethink our addiction to these things. As much as I love my high heels, I have to admit that I am now hesitant to don another pair. I think that as I finish my bottle of wine, I will revisit my shoe collection and finally rid of it of all those crazy uncomfortable shoes that, while they make my legs look long, end up killing my feet at the end of the day. The good news is that comfort shoe manufacturers are finally realizing there are many more options than black and brown leather. I recently purchased a pair of patent leather, leopard print Dansko clogs that I'll be rocking in lieu of my crazy high heels. Just say no to Bitchin' Babies!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
BI***IN'?
Now that Bitchin' Bodies has officially been birthed, "Other" responses are coming in. For you critical theorists out there, yes, I do mean Other. For those of you have not yet entered the wonderful world of critical theory, Other is one of those key words that we use when we want to discuss the way that individuals relate, or fail, to each other. When we treat a person as an Other, we address her as an object, a tool, something other than a full person. The goal of true interpersonal communication is to approach the other in a way that accepts her for all that she is, even when we disagree. Instead of finding fault or belittling her, we seek understanding. While we may disagree, we allow her to be who she is and to express herself in the manner that she feels is best. We respect her right to be a full person at the same time that we acknowledge that we might find significant problems with what she is saying.
At this point, you are probably asking, "Terri, what the hell does this have to do with Bitchin' Bodies? And why Bi***in'?" Great questions! The easy answer is that when one sets out to write literature that empowers women, and when that writer is a woman, one of the first things that happens is that there is backlash or visceral negative responses from those who feel they and their power are being challenged. The first time (or 10+ times) this happens, there's a strong temptation to back down and take on an easier task of writing, something less controversial. However, if you're very lucky, which I am, you have a strong network of supporting individuals who remind you that you're doing good work and if you're getting backlash that means you're starting to make a difference. They remind you that strong responses are par for the course, and while the responses may be hurtful it's part of the game you signed up for. More importantly, they reinforce that you're doing good, important work, and the negative responses put you in the company of other women who have dared to step out of the little lady box into which American women today are still relegated.
So, why Bi***in'? Well, in the flurry of media coverage for the national birth of Bitchin' Bodies, at least one media outlet found it necessary to censor the title. Their concern was that they didn't want to expose their readers to the "actual expletive," bitch. When this first happened, I was amused and thought it the work of an overzealous copy editor. Sadly, my amusement turned to frustration tinged with moments of anger as the censorship continued. Even though Fox28 had no problem showing the cover of the book and saying (oh the horror) "Bitchin'" on morning television, this particular media outlet continued to censor. Why? The word bitch is openly used in all sorts of venues -- books, television, media, movies, etc. Yet, the title kept being referred to as Bi***in' Bodies. More than mere censorship, this is a misrepresentation of the work. Imagine my surprise when I started getting phone calls and e-mails from people who wanted to buy the book and couldn't find one called Bi***in' Bodies. Of course they couldn't find that book, because it doesn't exist. Therefore, in addition to participating in the horrid act of censorship, they were misrepresenting the book in question, my book. I guess I was naive in thinking that literary titles were sacrosanct -- you don't mess with them even when you don't like them. Apparently, in this postmodern age of overprotection and increasingly intrusive encroachment into personal freedoms, there still exist media professionals (and I use that term lightly) who feel that the first amendment only applies in certain situations.
Sadly, the story doesn't end here. In addition to participating in outright censorship, this same media outlet decided to run a "satirical" (and I use that term reluctantly) comic about Bitchin' Bodies. (After much deliberation, I've decided not to reproduce the comic for you, because why should I give them free press?) The main gist of the comic is that Bitchin' Bodies sounds like adult literature, code for porn. However, it's actually "just" third wave feminism in the same category as books such as "Pseudo Psychology and Other Things that Sound Smart, but Aren't" - a textbook example of backlash discourse in action. Part of me is reveling in the fact that I wrote something that so upset another person that he took the time to create a very detailed response. The other part of me, though, is saddened to think that instead of engaging in an intellectual discussion of the issue, the cartoonist (he doesn't deserve the title of artist) felt the best response was to hide behind the mask of juvenile jokes and standard jabs at feminist writers. The interesting thing is that while the cartoonist felt perfectly comfortable positioning Bitchin' Bodies as pseudo-scholarship, he still censored the title to Bi***in' Bodies. If you're going to take a stand against something you disagree with, shouldn't you at least have the balls to use the "actual expletive?"
The moral of the story is that all of this only serves to reinforce why even in the twenty-first century postmodern world, there still exists a wide range of systemic and institutional discrimination against women. More importantly, the whole situation reminds me that it truly is time to start a BITCHIN' REVOLUTION where women move beyond the pretty little lady box. The next time someone calls you a bitch, and you know it will happen, instead of getting mad say, "Thank you." Thank them for acknowledging that you're being a strong woman living outside the little lady box. If you want to have even more fun, make them explain why you're a bitch. No matter what reason they give, just keep asking, "Why?" Force them to get to the depths of their own sexism. And no matter what they say, remember that Bitch is used as a sword, so instead of letting them use that sword against you, turn it back on them. Breathe deep, stand tall, and be a Bitch! Be a proud Bitch! Own the Bitch title and your own bitchiness.
If you want to read another take on this issue, check out the StepSister Press blog. And just in case there's any confusion, I did not write Bit***in' Bodies. I wrote Bitchin' Bodies, the book that will start a new bitchin' revolution of strong women who are proud of who they are and how they look.
At this point, you are probably asking, "Terri, what the hell does this have to do with Bitchin' Bodies? And why Bi***in'?" Great questions! The easy answer is that when one sets out to write literature that empowers women, and when that writer is a woman, one of the first things that happens is that there is backlash or visceral negative responses from those who feel they and their power are being challenged. The first time (or 10+ times) this happens, there's a strong temptation to back down and take on an easier task of writing, something less controversial. However, if you're very lucky, which I am, you have a strong network of supporting individuals who remind you that you're doing good work and if you're getting backlash that means you're starting to make a difference. They remind you that strong responses are par for the course, and while the responses may be hurtful it's part of the game you signed up for. More importantly, they reinforce that you're doing good, important work, and the negative responses put you in the company of other women who have dared to step out of the little lady box into which American women today are still relegated.
So, why Bi***in'? Well, in the flurry of media coverage for the national birth of Bitchin' Bodies, at least one media outlet found it necessary to censor the title. Their concern was that they didn't want to expose their readers to the "actual expletive," bitch. When this first happened, I was amused and thought it the work of an overzealous copy editor. Sadly, my amusement turned to frustration tinged with moments of anger as the censorship continued. Even though Fox28 had no problem showing the cover of the book and saying (oh the horror) "Bitchin'" on morning television, this particular media outlet continued to censor. Why? The word bitch is openly used in all sorts of venues -- books, television, media, movies, etc. Yet, the title kept being referred to as Bi***in' Bodies. More than mere censorship, this is a misrepresentation of the work. Imagine my surprise when I started getting phone calls and e-mails from people who wanted to buy the book and couldn't find one called Bi***in' Bodies. Of course they couldn't find that book, because it doesn't exist. Therefore, in addition to participating in the horrid act of censorship, they were misrepresenting the book in question, my book. I guess I was naive in thinking that literary titles were sacrosanct -- you don't mess with them even when you don't like them. Apparently, in this postmodern age of overprotection and increasingly intrusive encroachment into personal freedoms, there still exist media professionals (and I use that term lightly) who feel that the first amendment only applies in certain situations.
Sadly, the story doesn't end here. In addition to participating in outright censorship, this same media outlet decided to run a "satirical" (and I use that term reluctantly) comic about Bitchin' Bodies. (After much deliberation, I've decided not to reproduce the comic for you, because why should I give them free press?) The main gist of the comic is that Bitchin' Bodies sounds like adult literature, code for porn. However, it's actually "just" third wave feminism in the same category as books such as "Pseudo Psychology and Other Things that Sound Smart, but Aren't" - a textbook example of backlash discourse in action. Part of me is reveling in the fact that I wrote something that so upset another person that he took the time to create a very detailed response. The other part of me, though, is saddened to think that instead of engaging in an intellectual discussion of the issue, the cartoonist (he doesn't deserve the title of artist) felt the best response was to hide behind the mask of juvenile jokes and standard jabs at feminist writers. The interesting thing is that while the cartoonist felt perfectly comfortable positioning Bitchin' Bodies as pseudo-scholarship, he still censored the title to Bi***in' Bodies. If you're going to take a stand against something you disagree with, shouldn't you at least have the balls to use the "actual expletive?"
The moral of the story is that all of this only serves to reinforce why even in the twenty-first century postmodern world, there still exists a wide range of systemic and institutional discrimination against women. More importantly, the whole situation reminds me that it truly is time to start a BITCHIN' REVOLUTION where women move beyond the pretty little lady box. The next time someone calls you a bitch, and you know it will happen, instead of getting mad say, "Thank you." Thank them for acknowledging that you're being a strong woman living outside the little lady box. If you want to have even more fun, make them explain why you're a bitch. No matter what reason they give, just keep asking, "Why?" Force them to get to the depths of their own sexism. And no matter what they say, remember that Bitch is used as a sword, so instead of letting them use that sword against you, turn it back on them. Breathe deep, stand tall, and be a Bitch! Be a proud Bitch! Own the Bitch title and your own bitchiness.
If you want to read another take on this issue, check out the StepSister Press blog. And just in case there's any confusion, I did not write Bit***in' Bodies. I wrote Bitchin' Bodies, the book that will start a new bitchin' revolution of strong women who are proud of who they are and how they look.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
BITCHIN' INTERVIEW
When you write and dare to call yourself a writer, you sentence yourself to a life of solitude. You spend hours, days, months, years in your mind wrangling with finding the right words to express the chaos of thoughts in your mind. If you're like me and do your writing the old school way with paper and pen, you probably go through more pens in one year than most people do in a lifetime. And if you're, really lucky and happen to be in the right place at the right time saying the right things for that moment, your words are given birth through publication.
Once you "get published" it would seem that your job as a writer is over, and you can comfortably move on to the next project. The thing that you don't think about, though, is that publishing is an end and a beginning simultaneously. Sure, your words are now out there for everyone to read. However, you still have to find a way to get your words into people's hands. As most of us are not Stephen King, Joyce Carol Oates, or some other big name writer, we have to find a way to make the sales happen. This means, that even though you live life in your mind, you also have to life as a social person. You have to get out there and talk -- a lot.
I had the privilege recently to go on our local Fox Morning show to talk about Bitchin' Bodies. Being interviewed about your work is a sobering and exciting experience all at once. During all those late nights of struggling to get a sentence perfect, or as close to perfect as I could, I would occasionally dare to dream of being on television talking about my work. When it started to become clear that this dream might actually come true, I quickly sobered up and became scared. I talk all the time in workshops and in class, but doing a live interview is a whole different experience. I'll be honest with you and say that I had a few freak out moments. Ok, if I'm going to be honest, I'll let you know that I completely panicked!
I started asking myself how could I possibly simmer down the wealth of information I discuss in nearly 200 pages of text to two minutes (or even the six I was given) and a few quick sound bites? Thankfully, I work with a wonderful media representative on campus, Gwen O'Brien. Gwen patiently listened to my fears, helped me boil down my overall message, and prepped me more than I thought I could be prepped. When it came time for the actual interview I was fairly calm and heard Gwen's voice cheering me on.
In case you don't have a Gwen in your life, I want to pass on some helpful tips. The first thing you should do is figure out your key point or points. Try to write these things down in 100 words or less. Yes, this is difficult to do, but it's absolutely necessary. The next thing you should do is try to find one or two things that are sexy or will pique the interest of media interest. Think bullet points and catchy phrases. Even if you never do a television interview, having this information readily available will help you describe your project when asked. Most people who ask you this question don't want to hear a long, drawn out, rambling explanation. They want quick and memorable.
If you're going to do a television interview, live or taped, do a practice run -- on camera. It is absolutely necessary to learn where to look and how to handle yourself. For example, I tend to talk with my hands. If I don't remind myself, my hands will be flailing all over the place. In fact, if you watch my interview, you'll see that around the halfway mark, my gestures increase. You know why? I lost my train of thought at one point and started punting. And part of my punting was over-compensating with my hands.
Another thing that doing a practice tape will help you address is your physical presence, your look. In this day of super celebrity, good looking people are all over television. While you may not be a super model, you still need to think about your appearance. (Sad to say, but it's a fact.) In my first tape, I wore a shirt that looked great in person. On camera, it hung funny, made my boobs look even bigger than they already are, and completely washed me out. I also learned that for me, it's best if I wear something fitted in a solid color and with a collar. These may seem like trivial things to worry about, and your writerly sense may be screaming at you that you're above all this. You probably are. But think about it, do you want to get your message our there or do you want people staring at you and thinking, "What the hell was she thinking when she put on that shirt?" As much as I believe that what I look like is less important than what I say, I have to admit that for now my appearance matters for these things. I hate this fact and I want to rebel against it, but even more I want to get people talking about Bitchin' Bodies.
These are only the proverbial tip of the iceberg of important things for writers to know. Stay tuned for more, and remember you can always comment or e-mail me directly for more information. Don't forget to check out Bitchin' Bodies directly at StepSister Press. Also check out their blog for the latest news on Bitchin' Bodies and other upcoming projects from me and their ever growing list of writers and artists.
Once you "get published" it would seem that your job as a writer is over, and you can comfortably move on to the next project. The thing that you don't think about, though, is that publishing is an end and a beginning simultaneously. Sure, your words are now out there for everyone to read. However, you still have to find a way to get your words into people's hands. As most of us are not Stephen King, Joyce Carol Oates, or some other big name writer, we have to find a way to make the sales happen. This means, that even though you live life in your mind, you also have to life as a social person. You have to get out there and talk -- a lot.
I had the privilege recently to go on our local Fox Morning show to talk about Bitchin' Bodies. Being interviewed about your work is a sobering and exciting experience all at once. During all those late nights of struggling to get a sentence perfect, or as close to perfect as I could, I would occasionally dare to dream of being on television talking about my work. When it started to become clear that this dream might actually come true, I quickly sobered up and became scared. I talk all the time in workshops and in class, but doing a live interview is a whole different experience. I'll be honest with you and say that I had a few freak out moments. Ok, if I'm going to be honest, I'll let you know that I completely panicked!
I started asking myself how could I possibly simmer down the wealth of information I discuss in nearly 200 pages of text to two minutes (or even the six I was given) and a few quick sound bites? Thankfully, I work with a wonderful media representative on campus, Gwen O'Brien. Gwen patiently listened to my fears, helped me boil down my overall message, and prepped me more than I thought I could be prepped. When it came time for the actual interview I was fairly calm and heard Gwen's voice cheering me on.
In case you don't have a Gwen in your life, I want to pass on some helpful tips. The first thing you should do is figure out your key point or points. Try to write these things down in 100 words or less. Yes, this is difficult to do, but it's absolutely necessary. The next thing you should do is try to find one or two things that are sexy or will pique the interest of media interest. Think bullet points and catchy phrases. Even if you never do a television interview, having this information readily available will help you describe your project when asked. Most people who ask you this question don't want to hear a long, drawn out, rambling explanation. They want quick and memorable.
If you're going to do a television interview, live or taped, do a practice run -- on camera. It is absolutely necessary to learn where to look and how to handle yourself. For example, I tend to talk with my hands. If I don't remind myself, my hands will be flailing all over the place. In fact, if you watch my interview, you'll see that around the halfway mark, my gestures increase. You know why? I lost my train of thought at one point and started punting. And part of my punting was over-compensating with my hands.
Another thing that doing a practice tape will help you address is your physical presence, your look. In this day of super celebrity, good looking people are all over television. While you may not be a super model, you still need to think about your appearance. (Sad to say, but it's a fact.) In my first tape, I wore a shirt that looked great in person. On camera, it hung funny, made my boobs look even bigger than they already are, and completely washed me out. I also learned that for me, it's best if I wear something fitted in a solid color and with a collar. These may seem like trivial things to worry about, and your writerly sense may be screaming at you that you're above all this. You probably are. But think about it, do you want to get your message our there or do you want people staring at you and thinking, "What the hell was she thinking when she put on that shirt?" As much as I believe that what I look like is less important than what I say, I have to admit that for now my appearance matters for these things. I hate this fact and I want to rebel against it, but even more I want to get people talking about Bitchin' Bodies.
These are only the proverbial tip of the iceberg of important things for writers to know. Stay tuned for more, and remember you can always comment or e-mail me directly for more information. Don't forget to check out Bitchin' Bodies directly at StepSister Press. Also check out their blog for the latest news on Bitchin' Bodies and other upcoming projects from me and their ever growing list of writers and artists.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
BITCHIN' & CRYIN'
Tonight's launch of Bitchin' Bodies was more than I ever dreamed. Have you ever heard the caution of being careful what you wish for because it just might come true? If not, let me just say ignore it. Dream. Dream big. Dream bigger than you think you can dream. And be ready to cry when your dreams come true in ways you didn't imagine.
Yes, I did shed a few tears tonight and in the days leading up to tonight. As women, strong bitchin' women, we think that we must hold back our tears. Crying is bad. Crying is a show of weakness. While many people may think this is all tears represent, tears are so much more. I will be completely honest and admit that I am one of those women who have an ambivalent relationship with crying, especially in public. As a strong, feminist activist I think that if I cry I am living up to all those stereotypes of women. But, crying is simply a physical demonstration of strong emotion. I have reluctantly embraced my desire, and my need, to shed a few tears -- even in public. Sometimes, especially when we are personally and emotionally involved in an issue, we feel that stinging at the back of our eyes, the pre-crying Oh Shit! moment. We push them back. Instead of feeling our emotions, expressing our passions, we silence ourselves. Why?
Even though Bitchin' Bodies has just today been "officially" launched, many of you pre-ordered copies and have had time to read it. (Thank you!) One of the surprising things I am hearing is how Bitchin' Bodies makes you cry. Not only does the book speak to you, but it's forcing you to admit those things that we'd rather not admit. I always knew in my gut that writing about the lived experience of body dissatisfaction would be a rewarding experience, but I have to admit that when I first started hearing stories of Bitchin' Bodies making women cry I paused. I questioned if, maybe, the book really was just another sad narrative in the string of sad narratives describing women's lives. However, I don't think that's why you're crying.
As we've talked, I've come to realize just how deeply we've pushed down our true feelings. When you read about other women who talk about the exact same experiences, there comes this moment when, no matter how hard you try, the walls come down. All those years of thinking you were the *only* woman who feels this way is stripped away. Then, the tears come, and that's ok. That means that you're finally being honest with yourself, as opposed to that game of honesty we play with ourselves. You know the game I'm talking about. The one where we push our real feelings down, and keep pushing them down, and adopt a mask of strength -- where strength is defined as not crying.
Here's the thing I want to leave you with. Embrace your crying. Own it. Be proud of it. Part of my bitchin' revolution is redefining what it means to be a woman. As a woman, sometimes crying is the thing that I not only want to do, but I need to do. And honestly, isn't it better to cry about something you believe in than one of those sappy Lifetime Movies. (which if you're really, honest, you'll admit that we call cry for.)
You may be asking, so Terri, why are you crying? The easy response is that I've been living the last few weeks on not enough hours of sleep. When I'm truly honest with myself, though, that's only a small part of the actual reason. I'm crying because you're crying. I'm crying because I know how difficult it is to be truly honest with yourself, your hardest critic. I'm crying, because as I continue to discuss these issues I hear more and more stories of body dissatisfaction. I'm crying because I want to be there with you and for you as you think about your body. And, I'm crying because there are so many people who have taken my little pet project under their wing and are making my dream more than I ever thought I could dream.
Keep crying, keep dreaming, and help me start a bitchin' revolution of what it means to be a woman.
Yes, I did shed a few tears tonight and in the days leading up to tonight. As women, strong bitchin' women, we think that we must hold back our tears. Crying is bad. Crying is a show of weakness. While many people may think this is all tears represent, tears are so much more. I will be completely honest and admit that I am one of those women who have an ambivalent relationship with crying, especially in public. As a strong, feminist activist I think that if I cry I am living up to all those stereotypes of women. But, crying is simply a physical demonstration of strong emotion. I have reluctantly embraced my desire, and my need, to shed a few tears -- even in public. Sometimes, especially when we are personally and emotionally involved in an issue, we feel that stinging at the back of our eyes, the pre-crying Oh Shit! moment. We push them back. Instead of feeling our emotions, expressing our passions, we silence ourselves. Why?
Even though Bitchin' Bodies has just today been "officially" launched, many of you pre-ordered copies and have had time to read it. (Thank you!) One of the surprising things I am hearing is how Bitchin' Bodies makes you cry. Not only does the book speak to you, but it's forcing you to admit those things that we'd rather not admit. I always knew in my gut that writing about the lived experience of body dissatisfaction would be a rewarding experience, but I have to admit that when I first started hearing stories of Bitchin' Bodies making women cry I paused. I questioned if, maybe, the book really was just another sad narrative in the string of sad narratives describing women's lives. However, I don't think that's why you're crying.
As we've talked, I've come to realize just how deeply we've pushed down our true feelings. When you read about other women who talk about the exact same experiences, there comes this moment when, no matter how hard you try, the walls come down. All those years of thinking you were the *only* woman who feels this way is stripped away. Then, the tears come, and that's ok. That means that you're finally being honest with yourself, as opposed to that game of honesty we play with ourselves. You know the game I'm talking about. The one where we push our real feelings down, and keep pushing them down, and adopt a mask of strength -- where strength is defined as not crying.
Here's the thing I want to leave you with. Embrace your crying. Own it. Be proud of it. Part of my bitchin' revolution is redefining what it means to be a woman. As a woman, sometimes crying is the thing that I not only want to do, but I need to do. And honestly, isn't it better to cry about something you believe in than one of those sappy Lifetime Movies. (which if you're really, honest, you'll admit that we call cry for.)
You may be asking, so Terri, why are you crying? The easy response is that I've been living the last few weeks on not enough hours of sleep. When I'm truly honest with myself, though, that's only a small part of the actual reason. I'm crying because you're crying. I'm crying because I know how difficult it is to be truly honest with yourself, your hardest critic. I'm crying, because as I continue to discuss these issues I hear more and more stories of body dissatisfaction. I'm crying because I want to be there with you and for you as you think about your body. And, I'm crying because there are so many people who have taken my little pet project under their wing and are making my dream more than I ever thought I could dream.
Keep crying, keep dreaming, and help me start a bitchin' revolution of what it means to be a woman.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
BITCHIN' BELATED UPDATE
Mea Culpa on my extended absence. Life intervened, we bought a house, and the summer slipped away. The school year started off with a bang, and for the past several weeks I've been working 16 hour days trying to fit too many activities into too little time. The fantastic news is that throughout all this, Bitchin' Bodies the book has been working its way through the publication process and is now nearing its national launch! As you can see, she's lovely -- and even better in person.
Karin Lekan, an amazing artist working out of San Francisco, CA created the wonderful images that accompany the text, including the cover image. Her images add a fantastic depth to the text and theory I develop in the book. Empowering and powerful, they alone are worth the cost of the book. Each day I look at them and find new meanings in them. They speak in a way that you can't fully understand until you see them.
Annie Heckman, the genius artist, editor, publisher behind the scene has been fielding book orders large and small from around the country. We all had an inkling that Bitchin' Bodies could be a good book, but the early response has been phenomenal. You can order the book from the usual online outlets or even better, directly from StepSister Press. I recommend getting your order in early, as we're nearing the point of doing a second printing.
In other news, the national launch will be Thursday, September 25 at 7:00 pm. We'll be in the Student Center Lounge on Saint Mary's campus. I'll be there to read from and talk about the book. Even more exciting, there will be a special dance performance of "Because of Barbie and Other Dumb Broads." The dance was choreographed by Jaclyn Thompson and is based in part on our discussions of what it means to be a woman today living in a society that demands we have bitchin' bodies even while the possibility of ever achieving the ideal bitchin' body is, at best, a dream for most of us.
We have many more exciting things brewing. I'll be keeping you updated. For now, I'll be interviewed Thursday morning, September 25 at 8:00 am on our local Fox morning show. You can also find me on facebook.
I'll be writing more about the launch and the interview and everything else. We also have a new exciting, companion book in the works. I'll save the details for later, but know that the title is: Bitchin' Back. Thanks for all your ongoing support and get ready to start a bitchin' revolution in women's bodies.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
BITCHIN' BIKINI BODIES (?)
Even though it is currently in the low 50's outside, we are in the beginning of the summer season -- the time to drag out the dreaded bathing suit and/or bikini. As if we don't already have enough people and discourses reminding us of how our bodies are supposed to look, the major tabloids make it a point to publish full pictorial spreads of ideal bodies -- and what they consider less than ideal.
Last week, Star magazine featured the 55 Best and Worst Beach Bodies. Click on the link and you'll see the usual cast of teeny tiny string bikinis on enhanced, pilates toned female bodies. The names change but the bodies look the same. These pictures are highlighted with standard pithy comments on how the body is hot or smokin' or some other trite code word for sexually skinny. An interesting addition to this year's line-up of hot bodies is Britney Spears. It's pretty much impossible at this point in time not to know about Britney's troubles over the last year or so. Including her as one of the "Best Women" came as a surprise to me. It seems that Star and other magazines have banked a lot of money over the past year on trashing Britney. However, the text accompanying Britney's picture says:
"A little R&R has done her body good! Brit looked happy and healthy during her trip to Costa Rica..."
And she does look good -- and healthy. She has curves. She looks like she eats. She seems happy. Or as happy as someone can be whose entire life is chronicled in snarky magazine articles.
It would be tempting to view this article as a turn to praising more realistic visions of female bodies. However, the respite from anorexic visions of bodies was short lived. In Touch magazine takes a different view, using the same pictures as Star. According to In Touch, Britney may be "hiding a secret" and has a "suspicious bump". To put it bluntly, the same Britney body that is considered healthy by Star is implied to be pregnant by In Touch. Huh? The last time I checked, most women's stomachs were not flat, they are slightly curved. Curves do not equal pregnant or fat.
So what are we supposed to make of these contradictory messages? It's tempting to say just dismiss them as the trivial talk of desperate magazine editors trying to make a fast buck. However, it's not that easy. As women, we are forced to confront contradictory messages like this every day. If I were to don a bikini and stand in front of a mirror I would have to conclude that, like Britney, I might be hiding a secret because yes, my stomach curves out. I'm not pregnant, but I am a woman with womanly curves. Does this mean that I should hide my curves and avoid the dreaded bathing suit? Hell no!
Of course, at the end of the day it's easy to sit at a computer and say I own my bitchin' body and I'm proud of my curves. Yet going out in public means that I have to confront the reality of these conflicting messages. I don't have an extra eight hours a day to work out and a few thousand dollars to hire personal trainers and private chefs. Like you, I have to deal with the reality that is my body. I'm tired of feeling bad about my body. I'm tired of avoiding the beach and bathing suits. I'm just tired of passively accepting that this is what it means to be a woman.
Instead of just sitting back and trying to make sense of all this crap. I'm going to take action. Part of my taking action is Bitchin' Bodies. However, stay tuned. In my next entry, I'll share with you my own bitchin' body -- curves and all. Somewhere, buried deep in one of my drawers is a bikini. As soon as I find it, you'll see it. No charge for the cellulite, curves, and fat that is my bitchin' body.
Last week, Star magazine featured the 55 Best and Worst Beach Bodies. Click on the link and you'll see the usual cast of teeny tiny string bikinis on enhanced, pilates toned female bodies. The names change but the bodies look the same. These pictures are highlighted with standard pithy comments on how the body is hot or smokin' or some other trite code word for sexually skinny. An interesting addition to this year's line-up of hot bodies is Britney Spears. It's pretty much impossible at this point in time not to know about Britney's troubles over the last year or so. Including her as one of the "Best Women" came as a surprise to me. It seems that Star and other magazines have banked a lot of money over the past year on trashing Britney. However, the text accompanying Britney's picture says:
"A little R&R has done her body good! Brit looked happy and healthy during her trip to Costa Rica..."
And she does look good -- and healthy. She has curves. She looks like she eats. She seems happy. Or as happy as someone can be whose entire life is chronicled in snarky magazine articles.
It would be tempting to view this article as a turn to praising more realistic visions of female bodies. However, the respite from anorexic visions of bodies was short lived. In Touch magazine takes a different view, using the same pictures as Star. According to In Touch, Britney may be "hiding a secret" and has a "suspicious bump". To put it bluntly, the same Britney body that is considered healthy by Star is implied to be pregnant by In Touch. Huh? The last time I checked, most women's stomachs were not flat, they are slightly curved. Curves do not equal pregnant or fat.
So what are we supposed to make of these contradictory messages? It's tempting to say just dismiss them as the trivial talk of desperate magazine editors trying to make a fast buck. However, it's not that easy. As women, we are forced to confront contradictory messages like this every day. If I were to don a bikini and stand in front of a mirror I would have to conclude that, like Britney, I might be hiding a secret because yes, my stomach curves out. I'm not pregnant, but I am a woman with womanly curves. Does this mean that I should hide my curves and avoid the dreaded bathing suit? Hell no!
Of course, at the end of the day it's easy to sit at a computer and say I own my bitchin' body and I'm proud of my curves. Yet going out in public means that I have to confront the reality of these conflicting messages. I don't have an extra eight hours a day to work out and a few thousand dollars to hire personal trainers and private chefs. Like you, I have to deal with the reality that is my body. I'm tired of feeling bad about my body. I'm tired of avoiding the beach and bathing suits. I'm just tired of passively accepting that this is what it means to be a woman.
Instead of just sitting back and trying to make sense of all this crap. I'm going to take action. Part of my taking action is Bitchin' Bodies. However, stay tuned. In my next entry, I'll share with you my own bitchin' body -- curves and all. Somewhere, buried deep in one of my drawers is a bikini. As soon as I find it, you'll see it. No charge for the cellulite, curves, and fat that is my bitchin' body.
Friday, May 16, 2008
BITCHIN' FEMALE BEAUTY
Despite my good intentions, I have been embarrassingly horrible at keeping up on my blog entries for the last few months. While I could present numerous excuses, the fact is that life has continually interfered. In my last entry I focused on the editing process and how time consuming that can be. What I left out of that entry is that in addition to Bitchin' Bodies I have a few other smaller projects also slated for a summer release -- a textbook example of biting off more than I can chew.
What has been consuming more of my time, though, is this wonderful class that I have been teaching at Saint Mary's College in Notre Dame, Indiana. Backing up just a bit, I came to Saint Mary's as a Visiting Assistant Professor. What that means is that I took a one year position instead of a tenure track, steady position. I made this choice because as a feminist who is interested in young women's lived experiences I couldn't pass up the chance to spend a year on an all-female campus. Therefore, despite the advice of my mentors I dove into the unknown. I recently signed a contract for a more permanent, tenure-track position so the gamble is paying off. But, more importantly for this blog, I took the visiting position because I was promised the possibility of teaching a "Special Topics" class. In other words, I was able to teach a class in pretty much whatever I wanted as long as I could show that it had a strong educational value. The class I chose to teach was "Female Beauty: Discourse, Rhetoric, and Theory," -- one of those classes that have a really cool title that is really confusing.
The end result, was an intellectually challenging semester delving into the discourse of female beauty with an amazing group of young women. Over the last four months we immersed ourselves into the thing that we call "female beauty." Now on the surface female beauty may seem like one of those things that we all understand. However, when it comes down to it, do we really know what beauty is? I would argue that we don't. We think we do, but if forced to define it, I think that you'll find that whatever definition you come up with is sorely limited.
When I ask what ideal beauty is during my interviews, I tend to get a very surface description: a tall, thin woman with big boobs who is tanned with blue eyes and blond hair. Sure, this description may cover the basic vision of beauty that we see through major media venues, but is this really beauty? I think we would all agree that while this description is a start, it only touches the proverbial surface of the topic. There are so many other examples of female beauty that we can all name who don't quite fit this description.
So what does this all mean? I wish I knew the answer. What I do know is that female beauty is one of those things that we all seem to be chasing or feel like we should be chasing or have resigned ourselves to accepting that we can't achieve. But is it really? Is female beauty just an ideal that no one can achieve? Is trying to embody female beauty the reason that so many of us deal with body dissatisfaction on a daily basis? Is it better to just give up and succumb to the discourses?
Let me be honest with you, before I taught this class there was always a part of me that was tempted to answer "yes," a resounding yes to those questions. However, what I have learned through this semester is that there is hope. I am not the only one who is questioning this thing called beauty. I am not the only one who is frustrated with the myriad discourses that continue to control our every day existence as women. More importantly, I am not the only woman out there who is willing to take a chance, embrace her voice and challenge these discourses. I was allowed the privilege of meeting 22 other women, my students, this past semester who are willing to delve into the quagmire that we call female beauty and openly ask: is this it? Is this all that we can be as women? Are we really our bodies?
What I learned from this experience is that the issues I raise in Bitchin' Bodies are not only important, but they are issues that are waiting to be discussed. They are issues that want to be discussed. And we are not the only ones who can start this conversation. For me, the conversation continued today when I met with two other female faculty on our campus who want to keep this conversation going. (More on this later, I promise.) For now, what I want to say is Kudos to those 22 women who took a chance. Who embraced female beauty as an unknown entity that doesn't have to be defined by unknown others. Who spent some time thinking about the issue and who now are Bitchin' Bodies who own their Bitchin' and more importantly who own their Bodies!
What has been consuming more of my time, though, is this wonderful class that I have been teaching at Saint Mary's College in Notre Dame, Indiana. Backing up just a bit, I came to Saint Mary's as a Visiting Assistant Professor. What that means is that I took a one year position instead of a tenure track, steady position. I made this choice because as a feminist who is interested in young women's lived experiences I couldn't pass up the chance to spend a year on an all-female campus. Therefore, despite the advice of my mentors I dove into the unknown. I recently signed a contract for a more permanent, tenure-track position so the gamble is paying off. But, more importantly for this blog, I took the visiting position because I was promised the possibility of teaching a "Special Topics" class. In other words, I was able to teach a class in pretty much whatever I wanted as long as I could show that it had a strong educational value. The class I chose to teach was "Female Beauty: Discourse, Rhetoric, and Theory," -- one of those classes that have a really cool title that is really confusing.
The end result, was an intellectually challenging semester delving into the discourse of female beauty with an amazing group of young women. Over the last four months we immersed ourselves into the thing that we call "female beauty." Now on the surface female beauty may seem like one of those things that we all understand. However, when it comes down to it, do we really know what beauty is? I would argue that we don't. We think we do, but if forced to define it, I think that you'll find that whatever definition you come up with is sorely limited.
When I ask what ideal beauty is during my interviews, I tend to get a very surface description: a tall, thin woman with big boobs who is tanned with blue eyes and blond hair. Sure, this description may cover the basic vision of beauty that we see through major media venues, but is this really beauty? I think we would all agree that while this description is a start, it only touches the proverbial surface of the topic. There are so many other examples of female beauty that we can all name who don't quite fit this description.
So what does this all mean? I wish I knew the answer. What I do know is that female beauty is one of those things that we all seem to be chasing or feel like we should be chasing or have resigned ourselves to accepting that we can't achieve. But is it really? Is female beauty just an ideal that no one can achieve? Is trying to embody female beauty the reason that so many of us deal with body dissatisfaction on a daily basis? Is it better to just give up and succumb to the discourses?
Let me be honest with you, before I taught this class there was always a part of me that was tempted to answer "yes," a resounding yes to those questions. However, what I have learned through this semester is that there is hope. I am not the only one who is questioning this thing called beauty. I am not the only one who is frustrated with the myriad discourses that continue to control our every day existence as women. More importantly, I am not the only woman out there who is willing to take a chance, embrace her voice and challenge these discourses. I was allowed the privilege of meeting 22 other women, my students, this past semester who are willing to delve into the quagmire that we call female beauty and openly ask: is this it? Is this all that we can be as women? Are we really our bodies?
What I learned from this experience is that the issues I raise in Bitchin' Bodies are not only important, but they are issues that are waiting to be discussed. They are issues that want to be discussed. And we are not the only ones who can start this conversation. For me, the conversation continued today when I met with two other female faculty on our campus who want to keep this conversation going. (More on this later, I promise.) For now, what I want to say is Kudos to those 22 women who took a chance. Who embraced female beauty as an unknown entity that doesn't have to be defined by unknown others. Who spent some time thinking about the issue and who now are Bitchin' Bodies who own their Bitchin' and more importantly who own their Bodies!
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